Dream Cradling
The Hidden Resistance
I have been sitting (like most of us) with the deep sadness and immense agony that comes with being completely powerless in situations like the genocide we’re witnessing across the world. And I feel so broken.
But I’ve just tonight decided that the men with the guns and missiles don’t get all the power. In fact, if they can’t problem solve and communicate without them, they’re not really all that powerful anyway, are they?
Moving on…
We have a floor bed in our room. This is how we co-sleep.
We have a queen size mattress on the floor and a king single pushed up beside it.
Jarrod, Lumi and I sleep in here until Halo joins us sometime in the morning.
Tonight, Jarrod is out filming an event.
So Halo crawled in with Lumi and I, and I lay with them until they fell asleep.
Despite the large mass of mattress available to us, we were all huddled in one corner because apparently we don’t do personal space.
I have so desperately been wanting to take all of these war ravaged children into my home. To hold them and reassure them and let them exist in the safety and security we are privileged to have here.
As I lay there between my daughters, I felt something arise deep within.
A call of some kind.
So I shuffled Lumi over a little, in order to form a cradle with my arms.
Then I closed my eyes and entered some kind of mutual space between me and a tiny, curly haired Palestinian girl.
I wondered if perhaps she were asleep where she is, and I was meeting her in a dream. It must be midday there… so it may be that she’s napping.
I cradled her in my arms and enveloped her in the warmth and peace of my love.
“I’ve got you safe my little darling,” I told her. “Yeah… I can hear the noise too. It sounds so frightening doesn’t it? You’re with me now though my sweet girl, and I’ve got you safe here. You can rest now. Do you feel how soft this mattress is? How warm and cosy? My daughter Lumi is next to you. She’s two. You must be around that too?”
She’s shaking. Shock. Exhaustion. Trauma.
I hold my arms firmly but tenderly around her.
She’s lost her Mumma and is completely terrified.
“Oh my precious baby girl. I’m gonna hold you until you wake up, okay honey? I’ve got you safe here.”
I keep my breathing and heart rate steady, and I co-regulate with her.
I take her tiny hand in mine. It’s covered in soot and dust. I kiss it and hold it softly.
I quieten and let her soften into the silence. Allow her to relax her body into mine.
Occasionally when I feel her getting tense or notice her whimpering, I whisper to her again, “I’ve got you my sweet girl. I’m holding you right here with me. I’m taking care of you now. They can’t come here, my baby. This is our place. Sleep now my love. I’ve got you.”
I notice just how much room is next to us in the bed.
I welcome another little boy in with us.
He looks to be about nine.
Tears are streaming down his face, even as he sleeps.
I reach my hand out to him.
“You’re safe with us precious boy. You’re in a big, safe, soft bed with us now. That pillow is all for you. It’s going to block all the scary noise out. You can sleep easy sweetheart. Nobody can hurt you here. Rest your heart my love. I’m holding you now. Do you hear that? That’s the cicadas. They’re singing you to sleep. There’s only soft noises here. Safe noises. Close your eyes my darling boy. We’ve got you.”
Next to him is another child.
And another next to them.
We’re all cuddled up together in this space.
This space that defies logic and science and all of our other arrogances.
We’re holding each other tightly in this ‘in between’.
In this Mysterious Meeting Place.
I think they’re sleeping over there.
And as they do, I visit them in their dreams and bring them safely home with me.
I sing them the same lullaby over and over, protecting their hearts for this small window of time, as I gently cradle them.
I don’t fool myself into thinking it’s pretend.
I know how deep and how vast this love goes.
How intricate and unknowable the interwoven nature of all that is seen and unseen.
I am unequivocally certain that these little ones will recall dreams of a golden haired woman and her two little girls, and the way they felt peace deep into their souls this day.
And I will meet them again in eight hours time. Bedtime over there.
And I will lay beside them and comfort them, and I will let them know that I think the other Mothers are going to start doing this too. And that we’re going to catch all the precious children in their sleep and we’re going to surround them with something that can never be obliterated.
These bombs can’t break through this Mysterious Meeting Place.
They can’t even comprehend that we’ve infiltrated it.
We’re all hidden under a cloak of invisibility.
Impenetrable by any evil force.
Secured by the greatest power on earth.
I’m going to continue this practice.
This Dream Cradling of these beautiful children.
I’ll be there to catch them each and every day until they no longer need me.
Maybe there’s space in your arms too? Whether Mother or Father, or just full of love.
Maybe we’ll see you there, in The Hidden Resistance.
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