For the one with chronic illness

An ecosystem rewilding.

It’s not your fault.

This isn’t celestial punishment.

You aren’t weak.

You’re not here because you’re not trying hard enough.

These wise bodies of ours know things we don’t.
Say ‘enough’ when we can’t.
Say ‘I need rest’ when we won’t.

It’s not your fault.

You’ve learnt so much.
Read so much.
Listened so carefully.
Explored far beyond what you once knew.

You’ve tried this and you’ve tried that and you’ve tried all of those.
You’re peddling so fast and it feels like it’s getting you nowhere.

In Yellowstone National Park many decades ago, rangers were ordered to eradicate the wolves that resided there, as their predatorial nature was considered destructive. This triggered a chain of events that saw the ecosystem become disastrously unbalanced.
With no wolves to keep them moving, the Elk grazed the willows too harshly.
With few willows left, the beavers couldn’t build their dams.
With no dams for shade and shelter, the fish population drastically reduced.
With no fish to eat, other animals struggled.
This one change had a monumental effect on the health of the ecosystem, with a landslide of other repercussions and threads of dysfunction.

When wolves were eventually reintroduced some 70 years later, the ripples were profound. Plant and animal life flourished. It was a remarkable rewilding. Yellowstone was regaining a vital component of it’s ecosystem and the benefits are still being measured today.

Mother Nature had lost something.
And when it was returned, her clever design was able to sustain itself again.

And so it is in you.
A restoration is in motion.
A rewilding has begun.
It never happens as fast as we’d like it to. (Took us 70 odd years and likely a lot of experts, to work out we messed up on the wolf thing.)

It’s not your fault.

We live in all these different systems.
Family systems.
Social systems.
Medical systems.
Education systems.
Food systems.

And often they strip us of vital elements.
Care.
Compassion.
Grace.
Our natural rhythms and our intuitive knowing around these.
Vitamins and nutrients.
Autonomy.

You have done the best you could in the systems you are in, with the knowledge that you have had, and the bruises on your heart.

We are so removed from the ways in which we thrive.
From the foods that make our cells dance.
From the friends that sit with us through all our seasons.
From the sun and the soil.
From the whispers of our knowing.
From the rivers that soften us.

We’ve ignored the intelligent design of our inner and outer ecosystems and our own percipience; for the convenience, comfort and controllability of other systems. This is built into our modern culture.

You have found yourself here in this time in these circumstances, and it’s not your fault.

Though it feels hopeless sometimes, you are so far from where you started.
The restoration is slow.
An intricate process with many layers and secret tunnels.
But you’re retrieving what was lost.
And you’re removing what should never have been.

You’re doing it.

Even in your exhaustion,
you’re doing it.
Even through your tears,
you’re doing it.
Even through new challenges,
you’re doing it.

You’re balancing that brilliant ecosystem in you. This takes time.
And you are brave.
You are clever.
And you are so held.

And it was never your fault.

x
Lysette