Good people and good students

A reminder to myself that children aren't trophies, and learning belongs to no system or curriculum.

Jarrod and I met doing a year long Certificate IV at Uni called ‘YITS’.
It was an exploration and excavation of ourselves, our culture, our beliefs and our spirituality. It was an immersive growth experience among the most deep and carefully curated I have ever been a part of.

At our Graduation Ceremony, we had all caught wind of something called The YITS Award. Presumably akin to Valedictorian or Dux.
I remember standing in line with my classmates when they prepared to announce the recipient. My friend nudged me with a knowing wink. I gave her my best modest head shake and quietly prepared to feign surprise when they called my name.
The dude unravelled his scroll or whatever and *drum roll*….. “Jarrod Emerson.”

?
I’m sorry…what’s happening? Does this guy even know what H.D. stands for?
We were already ‘dating’ by this point so I had to transition quickly from disorienting confusion to exuberantly supportive in a matter of seconds. Somehow didn’t even get an award for that Oscar worthy performance. There was talk that I was ‘robbed.’ I can’t give names - but people were in uproar…

Apparently the award was for the person who best embodied the values and transformational nature of the experience.
I know. Bizarre.
I thought all the glory went to the smart people, not the good people. What kind of messed up world are we living in?!?

Rewarding people for their character and integrity instead of their academic people pleasing? The injustice is almost more than I can bear.

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I like to joke (without a shred of jest) that if, as a parent of young children, you’re wondering where on earth your Village is - you can lure them in with the announcement that you’ll be homeschooling.
Before you know it, you’ll be surrounded by a sea of individuals.
Except instead of casseroles or help with the laundry, there’ll just be tonnes of unsolicited opinions and A LOT of concern (try not to take it personally).

I was recently asked if the “homeschool teacher” in my family (that would be me…) even knew what the Pythagoras Theory is. The correct name for what they were referencing is of course, the Pythagorean Theorem. Once I had corrected them on that, I set to work strategising how I could teach my (not even school aged) child this geometric formula, even though she can’t even add yet...to prove a very important point, obviously.

Took me a few weeks to calm down enough to shelve that idea for a few more years. There is a huge part of me that wants to use homeschooling as a way to show off. As a presentation of the most intelligent and capable parts of myself. As a dazzling vindication of our choice to exit mainstream education. As a reminder to everyone that I excelled in school (have I mentioned that?) There’s a small child somewhere within me that is still convinced this is the path to being loved somehow.

But this wouldn’t be a Mystical Rebellion without challenging a few systems. Some of them being of my own creation. Some of them being so ingrained in us that we struggle to get curious about anything different. Dogmatic ideologies that leave no room for creative expansion of the very concept they purport to uphold (eg: learning). Children are people, not trophies after all. Curious, open minded, excitable people.

So I’m going to pocket the Pythagorean Theorem for a bit longer. I’m going to continue to follow my kids’ cues and curiosities. I’m going to continue to trust in the organic growth these littles have shown for the past 5 years. I’m going to stay excited about the myriad ways we can foster learning off the beaten path. And I’m going to trust in our stewardship and guidance.

And I am married to the recipient of The Prestigious 2009 YITS Award (not to be confused with Dux) - so whenever I’m misguided by the unnecessary distraction of elitist academia - I know I’ll be reminded, by the sheer goodness of my husband’s character - that we’re raising good people, not good students.

So as we explore learning that is organically woven through our everyday life, we’re hoping to keep in tact our spirit of passion and our connection to all things. We want to nurture the wide and intricate nature of our humanity. To value our knowing as much as knowing things. We’re hoping to never disentangle our education from our personal growth. We want what we learn to have meaning and purpose beyond earning awards and praise for our ‘smarts.’

We’re looking to embody our values and embrace transformative experiences.
With goodness and integrity.
With cooperation and humility.
Tending to our emotional intelligence (EQ) as thoughtfully as our IQ.

I don’t want my kids to think their education is a competition.
And I want to learn the same thing for myself.
I want to be proud of my character, and not just my ability to memorise facts and apply formulas. Is there hope for me? Hard to tell. But I push on, deliriously optimistic, despite occasionally falling back into old patterns and personas. I’m sure these kids will keep me coming back to what’s important.

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Sincerely,
The not-bitter non-recipient of The 2009 YITS Award, who is actually doing just fine in life despite this blatant lack of acknowledgment for the morally challenged among us, thanks very much.