Is hard work the only valuable form of work?
What else can we acknowledge, celebrate and infuse into our work?
"Working hard? Or hardly working?"
A question that offers varying levels of meaning to different generations.
Anthem to the baby boomers.
Eye roll material for the millennials.
It's so hard to break free from binary paradigms. I for one, have often found comfort from the noise and confusion of life, in black and white thinking.
This vs that. Wrong vs right.
It's felt safe for me to designate everything into two simple camps -
Healthy food vs. unhealthy food.
Easy kids vs. hard kids.
Rich people vs. good people poor people.
Creative people vs. boring people um, other people…?
It’s been only through loving acceptance of and patience for my own nuance and complexity from beloved friends and mentors, that I can even begin to entertain paradox, nuance and complexity in others. What an absolute gift that has made the world beyond black and white an alluring adventure for me. Something I am incredibly grateful for.
Hard work.
Often lauded as the holy grail of work. People love to tell you they've been working hard. People love to tell you they've been working hard almost as much as they love to tell you how busy they are. We use our hard work as a way of justifying ourselves. Of showing that we are worthy (Of what, I don’t know. Of existing? Of resting?)
We've mentally divided the world into hard workers and lazy people. The binary ensnaring us in a limited model of understanding that feels detrimental + lifeless.
And so I wonder what other forms of work there are that are just as valuable. I wonder what other ways we can approach and engage with work that feel meaningful and sustainable. That make space for and celebrate all the myriad gifts, traits and dispositions of a diverse people.
Let me get the ball rolling with a list of alternative forms of work...
Heart filled work
Healing work
Kindly work
Transformative work
Meticulous work
Rhythmic work
Energetic work
Regenerative work
Imaginative work
Eager work
Voracious work
Muddy work
Sacrificial work
Exciting work
Stimulating work
Delicate work
Effortful work
Fun work
Intricate work
Full bodied work
Mind expanding work
Patient work
Balanced work
Relational work
Enduring work
Responsive work
Brave work
Pioneering work
My hunch is that when we engage in work that is anything other than busy, lengthy
and/or physically or mentally taxing (and therefore falling into the hard work category) - we don't realise the investment or the cost. And therefore we fail to balance it with time in rest and joy. Always postponing these things until we feel we have ground ourselves down hard enough to have earnt them.
I remember a friend (who worked 9-5) telling me once,"I desperately need a break. I need some time off. But I don't work hard enough to have earnt it." I wondered what more it would take for her to feel deserving of rest. Maybe all she needed was a perspective shift.
I used to spend lots of time milking cows. It didn't take very long. Between 1.5 - 3 hours usually depending on the dairy farm. One of my proudest achievements to date was Wendy Wallace telling her kids to take note of the pristine way I hosed the holding yards. (I’m mentally atop a podium right now.)
Was it hard work? Not really. It just took a bit of time (and a whoooooole lot of water). Eventually they even got a high pressure hose so powerful it could break your rib if you kinked it the wrong way which made it all even easier (if slightly more dangerous). I'm recognising this is quite an esoteric topic… let me move it along…
My point is that the work I was doing was METICULOUS work.
I was supremely invested in my task of hosing cow poop from a concrete slab into a sewerage drain. I excelled at it in fact. A real resumé heading skill.
The sparkling concrete came not from hard work but from my detail-oriented nature. And Wendy's acknowledgment felt so affirming because of this. It felt as though she was saying how I am and how I operate are valuable…even if I take exponentially longer than every other kid that got roped into this job.
I think there's a link between our holy grail/binary view of hard work and the narrative that staying home to raise children is somehow a walk in the park. Parenting is enduring work (24/7). Patient work. Sacrificial work. Often fun work - however, though you may be enjoying some finger painting - it's certainly not relaxing in bed with a hot beverage and a good book, so it is still of course, work. It's heart filled work. Imaginative work. Creative work. When we acknowledge the value of these contributions - we value the parent and the investments they are making as well as the sacrifices.
This devaluation of anything other than hard work (subjective also, I might add) leads us to have mental hierarchies of different jobs and vocations. Of the different paces people work at and the different things they can achieve. We begin to subscribe to a preference of quantity over quality, as well as over any meaningful contribution of heart or creativity or adaptability or patience.
We start saying things like, ‘What do they need a holiday for? They only work x hours per week.”
Or, “All they do is paint pictures. How hard could it be?”
Or, “Wish I could just sit in a comfy chair all day just making sure no one drowns.”
We start comparing. And we start deciding who is worthy of praise and also of rest. As if these aren’t absolutely essential to any healthy human life regardless of output.
I worked for 3 years as a rural fencing contractor. And I am here to tell you that the people telling everyone how hard they work - are usually full of it.
Those farmers that would tell their wives they were heading down the paddock to help the fencing contractors, would stand for hours just watching us, offering completely useless advice and twirling a piece of bailing twine into knots. They’d chat with us and whinge about their last tractor service or the price of cattle, and every now and then they would jump to hand me the drill as I bent to get it myself, saving me all of two measly seconds and looking very proud of themselves.
Then their phones would ring, “Ugh it’s me Mrs….hang on….yeah darl? Nah I’m down the paddock doing the fence,” they would say with exasperation. If you listened carefully, you could detect a sudden suspicious level of panting and grunting for someone who had barely moved for two straight hours, let alone completed any hard labour. “Yeah I dunno how long I’ll be. Yeah it’s a big job. Yeah no worries. I’ll see if I can get up there a bit later. Alright?” Then they’d shoot us a look of - ‘Wives. Amiright?’ as though we would condone their nonsense.
Liars. The lot of them. Mark my words.
I’ve seen the same games play out in office settings. Fakery I tell you. Don’t believe a word of it.
Here’s a non-exhaustive assessment of the ways people are infusing good things into their work:
An academic might be doing voracious work as they pour over books to learn more about their favourite subject. They might be doing mind expanding work as they try to integrate a new theory into their understanding and subsequently their teaching.
Someone recovering from an abusive relationship might be doing healing work. For themselves and those surrounding them. Transformative work, as they seek to change the trajectory of their family line. Patient work and gentle work as they sometimes fall back into old ways of reacting, then trying again and again to move towards a more sustainable and comforting way of living.
Teachers are doing effortful work, trying their best to cater to an array of needs, skills, desires and attention spans. They are doing relational work, seeking to have encouraging, mutually respectful and affirming relationships with those they are guiding. Kindly work, as they tread gently amongst children sensitive to their inadequacies and struggles, and tenderly unsure of their own magnificence.
Therapists are doing responsive work - paying sincere attention to those in their care and adapting to their needs. They are doing balanced work as they move between challenge and validation. As they move between deep places and safe places. Transformative work, as they bear witness to growth and metamorphosis.
Midwives are doing energetic work as they hold warm space for both the vulnerability and capability of Mothers. Vigilant work, as they wait at the ready for weeks on end, for the call about an imminent home birth. Delicate work, as they sense their way through supporting shifting physical sensations and stages, and emotional and spiritual waves and influences.
Tradies might be doing physical work - full bodied work. Cognitive work, as they add and subtract and assess tricky puzzles to solve. Rhythmic work, as they hammer and saw and drill on repeat. Sometimes muddy work.
Someone who knits for their online store might be doing intricate work. Delicate work. Heart filled work, as they create special keepsakes for people they might never meet.
A poet’s work might feel like exciting work. It might be transformative work, as they challenge narratives and biases. Invigorating work, as they passionately perform their poems for others. Stimulating work as they ride the wave of their own homecomings and blossoming. Brave work as they boldly name injustice and pain, and bare their soul to the world.
A gardener is doing regenerative work as they try to restore Mother Nature to her innate wisdom. Full bodied work. Creative work. Healing work - as they work to heal the soil, they are often healing themselves. Sometimes delicate work. Often muddy work.
We’re all showing up with different skill sets, abilities, talents, passions, hearts, minds and desires. The work force is nothing short of a magical mosaic of life force. We’re all contributing to the world and it’s growth and functionality with such diversity, that it would be a shame not to see the value in anything other than hard work.
How are you showing up? What do you bring? How are you infusing yourself into your work? How is your work highlighting your unique magnificence? How is it reflecting your wonder back to you?
I’ve said once and I will repeat it obnoxiously for the rest of eternity -
Work from a place of rest. Rather than resting from a place of exhaustion.
What you are giving is enough.
How you operate is valuable.
The pioneers. The builders. The carers. The thinkers. The time takers. The hustlers. The inspiring ones. The challengers. The artists. The pooper scoopers. The lifeguards. The mentors. The mistake makers. The paradigm shifters. The servant hearted ones. And everything in between, above, sideways, inside out and beyond.
You’re so clever.
I love us.
x
Lysette
