Stories

A surprising road to home birthing.

I can’t remember a lot of what I was taught in school. But I do remember a lot of the stories I was told. Much of the culture of our minds is formed by powerful stories that have nestled themselves into our psyches, and inform the way we view and experience life.

About 10 years ago, I was visiting married friends of ours. She was pregnant and we got to discussing birth. I’m sure I must have thoughtlessly asked her if she was scared of the horror show that was about to ensue. They told me about a mutual friend of ours who apparently ‘loved’ giving birth.
“WHAT!!?!?!?!! Is she nuts?!?!?” I exclaimed.
The stories I had heard about birth, and the way I saw it depicted on tv were nothing short of agony, and completely horrifying.
You could die. Or worse - you could poop.

Not long after this, whilst filming in NSW, I was chatting with a cast mate about his family. We got to discussing birth and he mentioned all 5 of their children had been born at home.
“By accident?!?” I asked incredulously. “Didn’t you have a car? Were the labours too quick to relocate?” He was very gracious in his response to my naivety.
I had no idea that this was a thing people willingly chose to do. My interest was piqued and I began to look into this phenomenon of homebirth.

I soon came across a blog called Your Zen Mama that opened me up to a whole world of warm and joyful birth stories. I was floored. How had I never heard of any of this peaceful, joyful, natural birthing before? I consumed every beautiful birth story on this site and hunted down more and more in books and other blogs and from every person I could find.

The stories I was filling myself up on centred around trust in the phenomenal design of the female body. It was a concept I wasn’t familiar with. Medical intervention was the only unavoidable narrative I knew. I thought birthing women had to be rescued.

I soon decided I desperately wanted a home birth for my firstborn, but it wasn’t financially viable for us at the time. I kept hoping I might accidentally birth at home…and that it would be really quick so that I couldn’t be blamed.

I mean…I kind of wanted more than a home birth. I secretly (or not so secretly) wanted a wild free birth under a tree…by myself. I dreamt of it happening whilst Jarrod was at work.
Just me, my baby and Mother Nature.
Every day that Jarrod was at work, I willed my body and my baby, “Quick!!! Let’s go! We’ve only got ‘til lunch.” To no avail.

At one of my midwife appointments, we met a delightful midwife who was also pregnant. We asked if she was birthing at this same hospital and she said she was having a home birth. It felt like such a naughty secret to know. I think we immediately switched to whispers. We were so excited to hear about it and told her it’s what we wanted but couldn’t make it happen this time.

By the time I was pregnant with our second child, I was somehow surrounded by many homebirthing women. A fringe benefit of attending a good bush playgroup 😂 Their stories gave me confidence and filled me with tentative excitement. It was all I could envision.

So it didn’t feel like it took much deliberation from either of us to decide this was what we were doing. We hired two beautiful midwives and the most wonderful doula. I felt really weak from being so sick and wasn’t super confident in my capabilities. But these women helped me journey through these feelings and were generous with their encouragement and their stories. We had Lumi at home one sunny Sunday afternoon, and it was joyful and warm and powerful and funny and challenging and natural, and all the things I wanted it to be. The pregnant midwife we met whilst pregnant with Halo ended up being one of our midwives. This still makes me smile.

Sometimes we sit and laugh at how far I travelled within, in just a few short years. How the power of positive birthing stories - of labour being told in a wholly new tone of voice - transformed my mind and gave me such a new energy with which to approach my own labours. Of the hilarious and wonderful trajectory my life took with a few seemingly serendipitous encounters. I have such gratitude for the people who shared their stories with me. And I’m certain my own crazy pregnant birth imaginings played a part in paving the way for the wonderful births I ended up having in some way (even if I never achieved my dream of a solo birth.)

HG kind of killed every hope of another pregnancy for me. I’ll talk more on that later. But I would have LOVED to have another birth.
Under a tree.
Or in the ocean shallows.
Or maybe in some cosy nest that I make out of scavenged materials like some cheeky bird.

If I continue to stumble upon free birthing stories or suddenly realise I have a lot of free birthing friends, the Great Spirit of the Earth might be subtly shaping my future for me. If clothes start to go missing from your washing line - send positive thoughts for my safe nest birth.

…Ok my secret SECRET dream is to not even tell anyone we’re expecting and THEN have some wild mystical free birth in nature.
Maybe by myself.
Maybe with the rest of my family. They were kind of awesome last time. And I can’t reach the pressure points on my own bum so…😉

I might share my birth stories next to continue to fill the air with possibility, and the wild and wonderful nature of this powerful initiation ritual. Passing it on and reshaping the culture of birth as was done for me.

x
Lysette

* UPDATE *
Halo’s Birth Story
Lumi’s Birth Story